In the beginning

I always wanted a big family.  Can't remember life when I didn't.  Then I grew up.  I got married.  My marriage automatically came with a family.  Two boys.  Two BEAUTIFUL boys.  My Alek and Zack.  I adore them.  Couldn't have asked for me, except one of my own...  It didn't happen.  Not wihtout a lot of heartache and worry that it wasn't going to happen.  Then one day it did.  Five years into our marriage.  My beautiful blue eyed boy Patrick.  I loved that child more than I knew was possible.  I thought I knew love before.  I didn't have a clue.  I was responsible for him full time.  Not part time.  I didn't hand him off at the end of the weekend.  I had middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, teething, things I hadn't ever thought of before I had him.   Now he's five. No more middle of the night feedings, no more diaper changes but a whole lot of mess andeven more non stop questions.
However, until this November we lived in the worlds tiniest condo.   Two bedrooms, two cats, two part time teenage boys, one full time active preschooler.  To say we were bursting at the seams was an understatement.   We moved into our beautiful new house and I'm finally almost unpacked.  11 boxes to go.  Where they'll go, I'm still not sure.  And I'm sure I have some boxes in the house that need to be unloaded still but I'm not counting those.   So we'll just ignore those for now.  After all, it took the Incredibles two years to finally unpack all the boxes, and they were super heroes. 
Still, my life doesn't feel complete.  It's still missing something.  A dog?  Sure that'd be great.  Rabbits?  Why not?  Another child, YES.  Another child.  One that comes from my body?  No.  One that comes from my heart.  I've wanted to adopt since I was a small child.  Why was this desire placed in my heart?  I don't know.  God knows though.   Having a biological son was a miracle.  Having two sons that came with my marriage was a miracle, and having a child that comes from my heart, into my home, and into our lives, an even bigger miracle.  I don't know where he or she is.  I don't know if that child is even born yet, or even a twinkle in the eye of a woman somewhere, but I know I love that child. More than life itself.   Life is a journey.  To where?  I don't know.  But somewhere.